Not The Loot Report

Another Christmas come and gone. Well, nearly gone. There's still the cleanup. I kinda like the idea I heard a few weeks ago from a certain Scrooge about 'The Man With The Really Clean Living Room..." The kidlets made out like bandits (again). It was a stroke of genius to get Boy a season pass at the local ski resort. Especially considering there has been no snow whatsoever in 3 weeks, and the temperatures have been too high for snowmaking (yes, people actually make snow. On purpose). Girl got pretty much everything she asked for, and so did I for that matter. They each got sweet digital cameras, and I expect to see unflattering pics of myself on their blogs soon. I got a guitar tuner, clothes, wallet, and a joke book. The cat got into the cheesecake and promptly yakked on the new shirt I was planning to wear today; other than that, it was smooth sailing. I got Mrs. Spiffy an exercise ball. Now, this may strike some of you as eminently unwise, but I did my research, yo. I saw how popular it was at the Office Party, and she even hinted I should steal it for her. Plus, I cleverly hid it in the back of my Jeep with my emergency winter supplies, knowing it's her nature to snoop (I once gave her a CD wrapped in a dishwasher box - the one gift she didn't guess that year). Sure enough, she found it, said she liked it and was even looking forward to receiving it. This morning, on our way to yet another Family Gathering, I mentioned my increasing interest in working out, and asked if I could borrow her exercise ball (I held my tongue and did NOT point out that only one hour ago, it was MY exercise ball). She raised her eyebrows and said, "No offense, but isn't there a weight limit on that thing?" Well, she DID call 'no offense.' Now pass me that cookie. =================================== There was some excitement in the neighborhood today. My sister was hosting the festivities. She lives on the border country, between the decent and scary parts of town: Right across the street from a very scenic psychiatric hospital, and down the block from the county jail. We looked out the front window and noticed an overflowing handful of police cars in front of the house, crawling back and forth with lights a-flashing. My brother in law went outside to see what was the matter. He noticed his neighbor's garage door had been kicked open, and waved Officer Friendly toward the scene. Apparently, a bad guy was being transported to jail and figured out a way to jump out of a moving cruiser. He passed by my unlocked car, keys dangling from the ignition, and was hiding under a car in the neighbor's garage. The fuzz converged in the driveway. Guns and 12-pound flashlights were drawn on the poor guy as he was dragged from under the car by his dreadlocks. My brother in law earned a hearty handshake and a "Thank you, fine citizen!" for his snitching good deed. How was YOUR Christmas?