Tuesday, February 20, 2007

An epiphany of sorts.

This installment of Guest Posting Week is from Rennratt, in which she confesses to finding a new life direction. ----------- While Biff is out of town on business, I have agreed to step in and help dust his office. While I am here, I am going to confess something. Something so dark, so disturbing, that I prefer to announce it well away from the prying eyes of my family. So, without further ado, my confession:

I have decided to join the Roller Derby. As a result, I have pulled out my torn fishnet stockings, my black eyeshadow, my blood red lipstick...and my utter lack of grace.

It is well known around these parts that I suffer from perpetual clumsiness. What better way to celebrate, then, than to skate/slam into random strangers while dizzying myself into nausea? I am getting pretty excited about this.

I will begin in roughly three weeks - as an alternate jammer. Since I have the attire and scary make up, I lack only a name and a Theme Song. The Theme Song is a no brainer. I shall skate out in time to “Fat Bottomed Girls” by Queen.

The name, on the other hand, is a little tougher. Shall I be Immortal Cin? Ven Detta? Mis Demeanor? Do you, friends of Biff, have any suggestions?

Oh, and if you see my folks? Just tell them I've joined the PTO. That will scare them plenty.


Rick said...

I actually KNOW a lady, er, woman, who does this! I'll ask her for suggestions and get back to you. (FYI, she gets paid in bruises.)

kenju said...

Uh, if you are going to skate in to that song, call yourself "Big-Bottom Betty" or something like that. Sorry for not being able to come up with anything better, but it is late and I am wigged-out on antihistamines and beer.

Sparky Duck said...

The beautiful mound thats roller bound?