Well, I'll be.

It looks like the Mayor is still out of town! Nice job on his office, y'all. The chickens were a nice touch. I'm here feedin' them and keeping the goats watered, so no worries about any livestock issues. This extended absence of his makes me think that his "business trip" might have gone a tad awry. I mean, instead of a straight-out docket of meetings in a bland meeting hall somewhere generic, I'll just BET he's probably off on a fact-finding junket someplace tropical, and had one too many mai tais, after which he forgot himself and the burden of responsibility his office carries and started flirting with the waitstaff, one of whom probably didn't appreciate it much because his name is "Bob" and who therefore maybe threw a punch at the Mayor, not realizing that Biff is a former Golden Gloves champion of the 10th grade who takes care to maintain a healthy physique and musculature and was thereby surprised to find himself (the disgruntled waiter) in a match of fisticuffs with our leader, who maybe, through the magic of alcohol, thought that the one disgruntled waiter was a whole HERD of ticked off islanders after his wallet, and so he wreaked a path of destruction at the Sandy Crack Shack, only to be taken down by a tiki torch to the back of the head (wielded by Big Moms Kanuckastan, the proprietress), after which he was hauled off to the pokey to spend a few days cogitating on the inelegance of his actions. Probably. Or, maybe, he's just snowed in, and the internets are frozen up in Michigan, and he forgot to revoke my permissions as guest poster and administratrix, so HA! I'm here, and I'm posting wildly incorrect (maybe) stories about him because.I.can. If I DO find out what happened to him, and find out that he's just been SLACKING, you can expect to hear from me. More details as events warrant.